Mad Love

     Even though it was a little while ago, I'd like to go back to Wide Sargasso Sea for a minute. So, there's the main relationship between Antoinette and Rochester. We brought up a lot of the gender dynamics going on there. Antoinette wants someone to love and care for her, but Rochester's basically in it for the money. While it's not quite as stark, I think there's a lot of the same story in Song of Solomon between Ruth and Macon Dead II. Ruth was also pretty secluded, though not as adamantly as Antoinette was. Ruth was part of a middling class that had basically two people in it -- herself and the Doctor. It's a lonely place, as has been suggested, but then Macon shows up. Macon's all about wealth and success, and what could be the greater symbol of making it than Ruth? She's of a higher class than he is. He inherits from the Doctor, and also has a beautiful new wife, whom he can, and does, show off to the rest of the community.

     It's made clear that Ruth and Macon used to have a more passionate relationship like Antoinette and Rochester did, and also like in Wide Sargasso Sea, they started to fall apart. It's not even clear that they really love each other, they just happen to be married.

     What's really interesting to look at between these two relationships and even, or perhaps especially, Milkman's relationships with female characters in Song of Solomon, is the significance of gender. Antoinette is totally dependent on Rochester when Rochester who needs her for stability as well. Rochester also specifically needs Antoinette, whereas  she would be fine, and perhaps even happier, with someone of a lower class who just made her happy.

     Ruth is totally submissive to Macon. I don't think she would even really know how to stand up for herself, since it doesn't seem to have ever been a habit of hers. Her daughters seemed to be the same way, until Corinthians met Porter and Lena told off Milkman. It seems they have more power than Ruth is ever able to show, even over Milkman. Ruth was close with Milkman, but didn't fight Macon at all when he was unhappy about it. She just sat there and took it, and now Lena is standing up to Milkman explain how they all just took it. 

     It's more than just the nuclear family dynamic that shows how gender roles play out. There's also Pilate and her side of the family. Pilate's house seems to be the place for strong women, the only thing is that there are no men there (unless Milkman visits). That makes it seem like Pilate only fends for her family because she has to, but not because she would husband or no. Then the fact that she degrades herself into this apologetic, naive woman before the police is all the more intriguing. It says she knows she is strong and she knows what effect she has on other people (let alone her childhood story about people reacting to her stomach). Pilate seems to be the only woman Milkman has genuine respect for. She is imposing and powerful.

     Then there's Milkman's relationship with Hagar. She is older than him, which at first seemed to make him shy, but as they grew up together, he took over more and more power from her. Now it's gotten to the point where he just cuts ties and she actually needs him to be hers. Her life has been taken over by Milkman's. She scooted over to make room for him, just like Corinthians and Lena did.

     This is the way Milkman has always been treated and it's the way his life has always gone, but now he has such lack of respect for the women in his family, that Lena has taken somewhat of a stand. It seems to be too late for Milkman to change because he just brushes her aside as his silly sister as he always has. She was always just there, but never really a person to him.

     This is what Antoinette became to Rochester. She was his. She was mad, so he could dismiss anything she did that wasn't submissive to him as her madness. Macon Dead II even explained away any unsavory behavior of Ruth's as being 'dirty' (implying 'just like she was').